Yesterday upon seeing this picture my heart began to soar, I got giddy, and I thought of my last post here. Now I still stand firmly behind living here and now; being fully present in the moment- it matters to me. It's how I live. BUT man, I think I overstepped myself. I do so miss the pictures; not only that I miss blogging. I like spending a few moments getting to know you more when I read your blogs. I like feeling like in this hectic day and age you can still know my heart, even if I run out of hours in a day to call. I like feeling connected.

Yesterday, when Little was talking (and I was laughing) I realized I missed sharing her quirky ways. I think it'd be great for you to hear that she's taken to calling me Desiree, become a pirate (I said argh Matey), feeds her little sister uncooked rice while calling her a rooster, and LOVES to learn, and prance, and sing.

Yesterday, when Big was finishing his testing for term 1 I thought about how I could write a whole post as his cheerleader. That I should tell people that habit training DOES work and it's not as hard as you think. I thought I should share how wonderful it is to have a child you really like talking to and spending time with. That I think God has BIG plans for my not so little boy.

Yesterday, when we were looking at those pictures Tiny was in my lap and squealed, then she said Kuya. Big was in the picture I had on display. I didn't even know she knew how to say that! Then I thought about all the milestones I forgot to document and I wondered if it would matter to me one day. So much has happened. She's talking and signing something new daily. Her laughter and lovey ways are contagious. She's the happiest easiest child until she's not. She's almost 18 months old. wow. Where did the time go?

They are growing and changing at what feels like the speed of light. I do my best to absorb it all- to be present with my eyes wide open, a smile on my face, with words of kindness and laughter rolling off my tongue...but I wonder. When today turns into yesterday, and yesterday turns into a few years if I fail to steal a few minutes to document them now will I forget?

I firmly believe that triumph or tragedy these moments are always too special to forget and share. So yesterday- I decided to comeback today.

My sweet friend Maritez (who has now gone private with her blog) tagged me to write 10 honest things about myself. So hold on to your seat because I'm as strange and quirky as they come.

Let's start it slow...

1. I'm not a good spellar....LOL ...Ok, but really I'm always mixing up my vowels and checking dictionary.com.

2 .I make sure to wear pink once a week. It's my favorite color and it makes me happy.

3.I don't go a single day without telling at least one person I love them. And it's twice as likely I will tell everyone I love, that I love them every chance I get.

4. When I was little I was desperate to change my name to : LoveHeartRainbowSmile.... never mind that it was 21 letters long.

5. There are few things I enjoy more then an afternoon outside, and reading with my kids. Days where I can combine the two activities are just about heaven on earth for me.

6. I talk to myself.... (and movies, and God)...A LOT.

7. My house being dirty clouds my mind and frustrates me; but I REALLY hate cleaning it... ok mostly just doing dishes and folding laundry..but with 3 kids both of those jobs are never ending.

8. My usual at Starbucks is: a grande Americano in a venti cup, the remainder filled with cream, and 2+ splenda.... easy right?

9. I allow my children to eat leaves, grass, and once by accident a mouthful of tan bark without blinking. I'm so NOT a nature germ-a-phob...public bathrooms and gum under tables...a WHOLE 'nother story!

and last but not least in the spirit of honesty and showing how truly unique I am....

10. On the rare day that I eat grilled cheese sandwiches I dip them in mustard and ketchup. I know it sounds gross and I won't let my kids even try it, but I still do it anyways. To each their own right?

... so that's me. A bit more then you wanted to know I'm sure, but in my defense I never claimed to be normal.

I'm supposed to tag 7 people, but bloggylands been quiet lately so lets try this: If you post your own list of ten, comment here and let me know. I'd love to read it.

ps. the eye candy is circa 2004. I've been day dreaming about Bigs' blonde hair back then recently because I think Tinys' may go blonde too this summer, and I just adored it. Also, my hubby loves holding our pictures hostage at work so i don't have any recient ones!

I was doing pretty good about mornings for awhile there. I was getting up WAY before everyone and enjoying my me time. Coffee, devotion, blogging, and life was good. Then the girls started waking up that early too. Then it was time change...fast forward to now and you get the drift.

I have had a wake up call though. Actually I've had two. They went something like this.

Morning A
Little: HI mommy. Morning mommy I wake up! Mommy I wake up.
Then just as I was feeling oh so proud of Little's verbiage... I hear a dreaded wisssssss sound and my pillow is drenched.

yea, that was NOT a good day. talk about waking up on the wrong WET side of the bed.

Morning B
Little: Hi mommy. Morning mommy I wake up! Mommy I wake up! I hunrey mama.
Me: Hi baby, OK just a second kay... (yes, yes, I know but cut me some slack I'm exhausted)
Little:OK mama I be rye back...
her feet patter off down the hall. I stretch, but cling to my nice warm blanket as though my life depend on it.
Little reappears now dressed...if you know her you know this is shocking.
Little: I hunrey mama, mama help me
(once again I know)
Me: OK honey just a second....again she runs off. This time I am actually preparing to roll out of bed when she runs back down the hall. Her hands are full.
Little: here go mama breakfass! I hunrey... as she passes me a bowl, a can opener, and a can of Mandarin oranges (which she adores). All of those things were in their respective places. My 2 year old gathered them and brought them to me IN BED.

Yea, a wake up call. Besides crackin' me up this taught me 3 things.

1. I can always count on Little to keep it interesting
2. My Little girl is getting mighty BIG (did I mention that she didn't even leave a mess in her wake?)
3. No more sleeping in on the job. If she's an early bird I guess I should be too because clearly 7 am isn't early enough in her book.

Littles second birthday is Wednesday.

Wednesday already? wow. I'm feeling particularly sentimental lately. See Little was the culmination of a dream for me. If I had custom designed a child she was it.

I don't want to give the wrong idea here. Having her took nothing away from Big, he will always be my hearts new beginning. I will always see the world fresh through him. Having him restored my tarnished faith. I adore him with all that is in me. The circumstances of his birth were just so very different then hers. I was young and awkward when he was new. I was living day by day, I questioned the stability my relationship, and I never felt content in the moment. I was always waiting for the next thing. The wonderful thing was, that like all mothers I grew with him. Our relationship is more precious to me then any worldly treasure, and I am only the woman and mother I am today because God trusted me with him.

But, Littles journey into our lives was soooo different. She was our honeymoon baby- the place where all my dreams came true. We were secure, committed, and ready for her. I had faith in my parenting and could not wait to see Big interact with her. People often saw me with her and thought she was my first. Not because I handled her with kid gloves, but because I knew better this time. I wasn't scared to get my hands dirty with motherhood. I stuck to nursing, I hand-made her baby food with fresh farmers market produce, and I wore here.

Oh how I loved the feeling of her near me. Her warmth would radiate through me until it filled my heart with complete contentment. In this picture she was a week old. We were at the park by our house. There I sat, with my new baby girl snuggled in close; watching the men in my life play tag. They were laughing, she was sleeping, and I was smiling. This moment...so calm and serene... this was one of those perfectly warm mommy moments you want to cling to forever. This was bliss. In this moment my life made perfect sense.

...and now that same little baby is turning 2 in five days.....wow.....cue the tears.....

...Here it is for the world. I'm going to be a Home Educator...gasp.... yes that's right we are going to start homeschooling for the 2009-10 school year.

If you are shocked, so am I. I'm completely amazed- at my change of heart, by Gods works, all of it.. So amazed in fact-


drum roll please..... brrrrrrrrrrrrummmmmmp.....

I'm starting a blog about it! Who didn't see that coming???? Me and my many specialized blogs. Honestly though they help me sort out my many cluttered thoughts. So if you haven't already sneaked over there check out my newest bloggy baby Rough Draft. Visit and help me learn more about this process, or just support my efforts to do what is very best for my children.... or whatever. See you there!

Hugs!

...as the big number two and all the T's that come with it (terrible, tough, talkative, tiring, terrific, tender, thrilling) grows ever nearer; I thought I'd share a defining moment of my journey as a mother with you. The moment Big met Little.

This single moment was one that I had looked towards with both excitement and trepidation. I was so nervous to see Big's reaction to "the baby". Her sex had been a surprise. He had made his thoughts on having a sister crystal clear- He wanted nothing to do with the idea, and had announced just weeks before her arrival that if "the baby" was a girl he was moving out (I think he read something similar in a book somewhere). Great, as though I hadn't spent the last few months worrying enough. I worried he'd feel resentful and misplaced. I wondered if he'd feel a connection to the baby, or understand that I could and DID love them both very much.

Then he saw her. He saw his little sister and he loved her. He wasn't going to move because she was a girl. He didn't even think of all that silly stuff I had spent sleepless nights fretting over. He was her Kuya. He loved her the moment he laid eyes on her. When we placed Little in his arms I was finally able to exhale. Worry melted away, and a sigh of complete contentment left my lips. I felt so blessed...the moment Big met Little.

I have realized that THIS is my go to word when life isn't going my way. I have a dear friend who favors 'seriously!', another who uses 'now?!', and one who says 'perfect'. I'm sure we all have our word of choice but mines gatta be REALLY. This week has been a really kind of week.

We had a great weekend, but come Monday I was sick. That's not so bad but by mid day I could tell the girls weren't themselves either. REALLY???!!!???? I thought. The week before Christmas? The week when I have soooOOOoo many unfinished projects, REALLY. Well lucky I got better by Tuesday, Tiny's just stuffed up now, but poor Little is a sick mess. She can't eat because what ever virus she caught has given her multiple canker sores, it's so sad. As you all know sick babies are clingy babies, so even as my heart is aching for her I find myself thinking Really?! could you get any heavier? could this be any sadder...really? So I'm miles behind in my Christmas prep because even if it is untimely my kids ALWAYS come first.

Then today Big came home from school and he lost another jacket!!! This will be his third big coat he's lost this year...REALLY???!!!!?????? This time someone took it from his cubby IN his classroom while he was at lunch. Trust me a phone call will be made tomorrow, but tonight I'm shaking my head and saying really?!?!?!?!... now only 1 week after purchasing it?....now when it's so cold it chills your bones?....now that he no longer has a uniform approved jacket to wear tomorrow... now when moneys so tight.....Really?!?!?!?!

Just when I was feeling bogged down with the negative Reallies, I began finding these, and more like them sprinkled around the house.


Some had been in their hiding places for days. In case you can't read it my very favorite emoish one reads: Tears of love fall into my heart. I love you. I mean really??!?!?!?! ....where does he come up with this stuff?...LOL...... Thank you God that he's so intuitive......I so needed these affirmations.

Really.

Today was full of wonderful surprises and it's not even my birthday yet!


For starters, Little NEVER even tried to get into our bed until 6:45 this morning. It was fabulous! I woke up at 6;30 feeling refreshed for the first time in a long time. Hopefully the sweet dreams just keep on coming.

I also caught this picture of her and her new big girl bangs today. She just got them cut yesterday. Jay was so sad. He says she looks too big now. I just like seeing her face, but you all already know I'm a sucker for my babies faces.

Then tonight as I was getting ready to go to the Katina's concert at my church my hubby announced he would be joining me. Jay went to church with me!!!! I was so tickled about that that the music could have been awful and I wouldn't have cared. Score for me though because it was great! So uplifting, and up beat. Leah and Rowen joined us and we all got to sing and dance, and praise our maker. I loved it!

Just when I thought my birthday eve was over and couldn't get any better.. ..it did!

Right after we got home (and I mean we just walked in the garage 5 minutes before) our doorbell rings. We weren't expecting visitors....Jay opened the door (he said he was confused, so tell you sorry if he seemed weird LOL) and there was Nikki! My sweet friend brought me these birthday balloons and a card from her and Maritez. I was overwhelmed with joy. This simple act of birthday cheer and friendship made me feel so loved. So from the bottom of my mushy heart "THANKS LADIES!" and Nikki, nice call on the three balloons! You averted a near catastrophe by your sly planning. Not more then 2 seconds after the door closed they were already dividing and conquering...LOL....

...I love wonderfully surprising moments! What a great day and it's not even my birthday yet. Happy Happy Joy Joy!

....This is my life in a nutshell,or should I say Previa...LOL.....

I was trying to take a quick shot of my new do (what do you all think?) and I caught a perfect image of my life as a mom. I told Jay that when Tiny is sitting forward we should take a shot like this of all of us and frame it. I mean think of how often you spend in the car now a days! Just look at my kids, they were all so done by this point, and yet I'm smiling. I thought it was so funny, so I had to share.

Ha! Bet that caught your attention. But really that's a great summary of my day today.

Both the girls and I have icky head colds. I had all these marvelous plans for the day today- I'm so bummed I missed CBS. I really enjoy the women in my core group (thanks Joan!!!!), and the fellowship it brings, but when I finally woke up for real this morning ( I say for real here because Little began trying to wake up during the 4 o'clock hour this morning) I was certain it was Saturday and completely appalled when Jay announced he was off to work. After realizing it was indeed a work day, assessing the girls snot status, and taking an Advil, I decided today was most certainly a stay at home sort of day. So the girls and I walked Big to the bus stop then bummed around in our PJ's for the day. It was nice to just be, ok minus the whining and snot. I find that I'm always on the go now, so maybe that was my sweet Daddies way of telling me to chillax.

Once I decided the day might be worth while after all, it was time to cook dinner. here's where the cauliflower comes in. I love finding things that make me excited to cook, or even better make my kids excited to eat. This week at Farmers Market I found Purple cauliflower. PURPLE! From an organic farm no less. Sometime I will have to post a blog devoted to my love of the farmers market, but for tonight I'll stick with the cauliflower. I'm one of those lucky few mom's who's kids like their fruits and veggies. So the whole getting them to eat them isn't really the problem. I find that they, and let's be honest here- and I get bored of the same ol' same old. I cook the same...oh....lets say 20 dinner rotation all the time so when i find ways to make it fun, and change it up I get stoked. Lately I've been stepping out of my Filipino recipe box and going healthier. We eat brown rice (a HUGE feat) every other time, stuff like that. So like I said Cauliflower is a regular, well liked veggie in my house. I gatta tell you though the response to the veggies I cooked up tonight was awesome. They were a total hit (along with the turkey burgers, on whole grain whole wheat buns...check me out!). They were lovely, and Big was stunned. He wanted to save some to prove to his friends that Cauliflower can be purple. For the record it also comes in an orange variety, and although the color was shocking it tasted just the same.

So that was my day head colds, and cauliflower. Tough and rewarding. So is the life of all mothers.

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

man, that's gotta be one of the truest statements ever.

Welcome to our family blog! Upon discovering that a few of my dear friends had started new blogs, and facing the bitter truth that I will unfortunately NEVER be caught up on my scrapbooking I too have decided a blog devoted solely to my family and their never ending antics is a fabulous idea. My goal is to update it a couple of times a week. If you are planning to join me be prepared for bad grammar, terrible spelling, made up words, and lots of little lovely bits that will hopefully help you see my children through my eyes. They are my greatest gifts, and best teachers. I would be lost without them.
I have limited time tonight. I am a single mom for the weekend and my filthy house is screaming for attention. So the true updates will have to wait. Tonight I say welcome, thank you for caring, and please visit again.