Today was my father-in-laws birthday. If he were still alive he would have been 74 years old. He died at 51, worse yet my sweet husband was only 3.5 years old. It's hard for Jay to go to the grave so we don't go every year. Actually we haven't been since Big was about that same age. Come to think of it maybe that was why it had been so hard to get back. But now our family has grown and it was time.These were the thoughts going through my mind today as we took the girls to visit their Lolo's grave for the first time:

Over the years it has always tugged at my heartstrings when people would tell me how much Jay is like his father. His dad was 47 when Jay was born. He considered his children the greatest gifts he had ever received. He loved his wife. He was a good provider, a caring friend, handy, firm, and always wore a smile. By all accounts people were drawn to Abe. Oh yes, my husband is his fathers son; looks, names-sake, personality and all. I am blessed.

Jay has very few memories of his dad. He never grew up with an idea of what a good man, or father was- how could he? The thing is that Jay is an amazing dad. I think the fact that he knows first hand the loss a child feels when their dad isn't around makes him more aware of making time and being present with our kids. Sometimes I spy on them all playing, and laughing and my heart sings.. He works so hard to provide for us, to be a good dad, and set realistic examples for Big of what a good man is. He loves us all, and spending time with us is crazy important to him. Again, I am so blessed.

Isn't God amazing? If we are faithful He blesses us even in death. Even after Abe's body died, God wrapped his family firmly in His hands, protecting them, and molded a man out of the little lost boy that was left when His servant died. A man Abe would have been so proud of, a man who is the dad he had longed to be, and who's children played so curiously around their lolo's grave today.

I wish I could have know him. I wish I could have thanked him for the wonderful son (and daughter) he left behind, and the legacy our children have through him. I wish many things, but I know he is in a better place (the best place actually). I'm so glad we went to the grave today. We didn't stay long, but it was long enough for me to watch my children laugh at his feet, and whisper my thanks and a quite Happy Birthday.